Thursday, May 17, 2012

Day 17: The day I turned out the lights

As we were up late from our super terrific awesome day of playing hooky yesterday, I slept in and took Kenna Crouch's 9:00am Hot 75.

I'll admit I was distracted in the opening moments of the practice.  For a very stupid reason.  My top totally clashed with my pants.  See?  Stupid.  But I was all out of it this morning, running late, so I grabbed a pink pattered top from my 'nothing else is clean' back up pile of yoga clothes and a pair of reversable lululemon groove pants.  Easy enough.  Except I put the pants on the 'wacky' side, so just below this shirt I hate was a totally clashing band of purples and greys and trust me it did not look good at all.  Again, I told you this was stupid.  So there I was, going through the opening alternate nostril breathing, focused on the fact that I looked lame.  (Which, trust me, I know doesn't mean jack in the real world.  But in this girl's world on this particular day?  Pissed me off.)

So what did I do?  I closed my eyes.  And I instantly felt better.  No clashing shirt to be concerned about here!  I just focused on my pranayama.  Transitioning after a couple of minutes to adho muhka svasana/down dog, I kept my eyes closed.  I really felt my foundation, my hands and feet rooting into the earth.  I felt my spine lengthen and expand.  I was listening in closely to Kenna's instruction, never losing my breath.  Now I'm on to something, I thought.

So I just kept my eyes closed for the entire practice.

Okay, sure, not the entire practice.  A few poses and transitions proved to be too challenging (crescent lunge) or dangerous (ardha chandrasana) to maintain myself in darkness.  But in those moments I kept a heavy lid, trying to blur my focus. I was surprised how bright and active and full the room felt during those moments with sight.  I really quite enjoyed the feeling of solitude that practicing 'in the dark,' so to speak, provided.  I don't know when the last class I took where I breathed so evenly through the entire practice.  Steady in, steady out.  All 75 minutes long.

With eyes closed, I was acutely aware of the instruction.  Never was able to let momentum just take me through a vinyasa flow.  Very aware of honoring my edge.  Far less confident in my ability to 'hit' the alignment just right.  But also gleeful that I couldn't see it and judge.

I may have looked like a total weirdo, practicing with my eyes closed the whole time.  Thankfully I had put myself in the back corner without planning it.  So I just let myself be in my own little world, totally absorbed in all of my other senses -- how the air moved in and out of me; how my skin felt as a drop of sweat would drizzle down my arm and off my fingertip; hearing my fellow yogis breathe or exert themselves.  I had no time to let my mind wander.  I was fully focused on staying safe and upright and present.

The practice wrapped and my mood was high.  I no longer gave two shits about my outfit.  I had found a way to tune into what was important... simply being on the mat.  And bonus - I was able to experience it in a whole new way.

Day 17
Classes Completed: 1
Hot 75 - 9am - Kenna Crouch
Progress Towards Goal: 18/31

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